I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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