I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
