My room smells like vodka and shame
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
