My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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