I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
