remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
