; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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