Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
