oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He felt like a one man threesome
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
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