no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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