That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
