I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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