Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize