Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
