He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
