Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just found puke in my bra..
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
