i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
