Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize