If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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