By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
