Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
