If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
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