it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
