is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
