Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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