i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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