I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I forget how to act sober
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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