If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
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I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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