Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
