just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
