im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
