I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
