first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
