its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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