whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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