I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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