I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize