The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
