Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
