i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
