if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
My vagina is very pro this idea
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