I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
