I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
