just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize