But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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