Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
