then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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