we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
