If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize