No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
