is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize