if you like me you must not know who I am
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
