peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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