What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
