You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
