Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Randomize
