I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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