i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
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allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
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there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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