Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
